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Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
(John 15:13)
Scriptures to explore: Mark 8:35; Mark 10:45; John 14:15; John 14:24; John 15:13; Romans 6:10; I Corinthians 13:4-7; Philippians 2:3-4
In our fallen, self-centered nature, we really do not give love much thought. We use the term without thinking about what it means. We do not fathom what it costs to really love someone. We love as long as we feel good about someone and it is in our own best interest. We love so long as it does not cost too much physically or emotionally. Our love isn't unique for we love those who love us (Luke 6:32). What's more, we do not see love from God's perspective. We have no idea of how God demonstrated His love in Christ Jesus. We have not experienced God's love; therefore we cannot spread His love to others. And if the truth be told, we do not care to know real love at this point.
If we examined our thoughts as they surface, we would find we are focused on ourselves. We think about our feelings. We consider what we gain. We are not willing to risk loving others when it costs more than we are willing to bear. When push comes to shove, we are the object of our love. The truth is that we are incapable of loving any other way apart from the Holy Spirit's presence. We have no idea that our concept of love misses the mark. We may speak of love and even marry if we are "in love", but we do not love as God intended us to love (Ephesians 5:25). Our love cannot endure or overcome the hardships that lead couples to drift away from one another or even betray each other. We are not able to give of ourselves to others when the cost is high. Our love leads us to choose ourselves ahead of the Lord God and others. Living with selfish love makes loving an enemy (Matthew 5:43-44) impossible, undesirable, and even out of the question.
The only thing capable of demolishing our self-centered love is the transforming power of godly love. It is in experiencing the radical nature of God's love in Christ that begins our transformation. We must be changed before we can recognize real love. We discover that our idea of love is redefined in Jesus Christ. Christ loves us; he invites us to follow him and learn from him. As disciples, we embark on the lifelong journey of learning how to love. As we grow towards maturity in Christ, our grasp of love continues to be remade. We hear God's definition of love given through the apostle Paul (I Corinthians 13:4-7) and are cut to our core by how it is counter to our thinking. But now we are willing and able to engage in the growth taking place within us for we have been transformed and are growing in the love of God (Romans 5:5).
Encountering Christ is just the beginning of our journey of following him. As we walk with him, he teaches us to love like he loves. Growth takes place in drawing near to God for in doing so He draws near to us (James 4:8). The Holy Spirit residing in us continues to mold and shape us. Little things that seemed insignificant in the past capture to our attention. Our choices reveal that we are learning to love like Christ. We struggle at times with the choice to love because it isn't always easy. There are still moments in which we choose to be selfish, but they are becoming less frequent as the Holy Spirit brings conviction that leads to repentance. Our perspective is changing. We are sensing things we had not previously understood and discovering that Christ's love is countercultural. We are experiencing growth and learning how to abide in Christ (John 15:4). As we abide in him, others notice changes in us. Some people see the difference as a positive. Some may be drawn to Christ by the love they see in us. Others are repelled by the love of Christ, holding onto their own self-centered understanding of love. Some may turn away and reject us, which is painful. We are not in control of how others respond to our abiding in Christ. What we can control is our choice to respond in love. Some disciples may say the price is too much and turn away (John 6:66), but as maturing Christians we are learning to lay down our lives for the sake of Christ and trust him more. In the process, we notice that though we are in this world, we are no longer defined by this world; nor we do not love as the world loves or what the world loves (I John 2:15-16). More and more we love what Jesus loves as his love abides in us.
At some point a shift takes place so that we truly begin living for Jesus. When and how it happens is different with each person, but it is always the work of the Spirit who takes us deeper. It may involve a conscious choice to live for him and not ourselves once we comprehend that is what Christ wants. Our motives had been mixed while we were still concerned about ourselves, but encountering the love of Christ again and again has awakened us to the fact that what the world offers is empty and does not last. We now grasp that we were created by God and for God (I Corinthians 8:6; Colossians 1:16), not for ourselves, and that living for ourselves is futile. We may arrive at this conclusion in an instant or over time. We may get there consciously or unconsciously. But now we choose to live for Christ, doing the will of our heavenly Father rather than our own (Matthew 6:10). One indicator that signals we are living for Jesus is a deep awareness that when people experience Christ's love they are transformed. If they love him they are truly alive. It goes much deeper than the sense we had when we first encountered Christ of wanting others to discover what we had recently discovered. Initially we wanted our friends and family to be excited for us and journey with us. But now we want people to know and love Christ for his sake, not ours.
It is only in living for Christ that we truly offer ourselves for the sake of others. Being driven by God's love revealed in Christ, our heart's desire is to glorify God (I Corinthians 6:20). We are not concerned about ourselves, but rather deeply concerned for others, and want them to know the nature of God (Jeremiah 9:24; Romans 9:1-3; Philippians 2:3-4). Living in the power of God (Philippians 2:13), we give ourselves for the sake of others just like Jesus did (Philippians 2:5; Galatians 2:20). This is now part of who we are. We do not return evil for evil, but return good instead (I Thessalonians 5:15; I Peter 3:9). If we are struck on the cheek, we offer the other without a hint of ego or sarcasm (Luke 6:29). If someone unfairly or unjustly demands something of us, we not only go the one mile demanded of us, we go a second mile with a noticeable joy and love that looks ridiculous to the world (Matthew 5:41). We lay down our lives in our marriages and families, serving rather than being served (Matthew 20:28). We lay down our lives for the sake of others whether at work or play. There isn't an area of our life that goes untouched. This greater love that flows in and through us impacts everything we say and do. It influences what we wear and where we go. We realize that as Christ's ambassadors (II Corinthians 5:20) we may be shaping how others perceive him. Therefore we lay down our rights for the sake of others knowing that we are blessed (Matthew 5:10-12). We are not being forced to do so; either by God or people, or a set of rules. Rather we are living out the greatest commandment, to love God and love neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39). We have a richer view of love and life. We know the promise of resurrection and eternal live. We love much because we have been forgiven much (Luke 7:47). We have the power of Christ in us (II Corinthians 12:9) and bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). We lay down our lives for the sake of others with no regrets. If hurt, we continue to love those who harm us whether or not they respond. It appears to cost everything to love in this way, yet we gladly pay (II Corinthians 12:15), for we see the cross and perceive that Christ paid a far greater price than we can fully comprehend or repay. It is the power of the Spirit dwelling in us who enables us to offer ourselves up in these ways.
Some of us may pay the ultimate price for the sake of another. Some will accept death at the hands of another having only sought to love others. If that should happen to us, we trust that God's grace will be sufficient at such a moment, and that like our Lord, and like Steven, we would forgive those who are putting us to death (Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60). We do not seek to bring about our own death, but we will not run, knowing from testimonies in history, that this ultimate sacrifice can bring glory to God and lead people to Christ. We know that God is faithful and just, and that this world is not our home (Hebrews 11:13-16). We know that on our own we would run, but we can do all things through him who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). We lay down our life for him who has given us the promise of eternal life and taught us to truly love.
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